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People say your first breakup is the hardest. My first breakup was filled with smiles and laughter. I broke up, over text message, with my junior high boyfriend and then immediately went down into the kitchen and ate a date square. Life went on. Sure, the emotions eventually came… 2 years later.. but they came.

My hardest breakup was my second breakup. That was when I sat in my closet and cried for 2 hours. That was when I screamed at everyone. That was when I puked in the toilet the next morning when I remembered what happened. That was when mascara was running down my cheeks. That was when I felt my heart hurt for the very first time.

Looking back on my few breakups, I still feel the horrible emotions that I felt those days, but I’m also happy to hold those emotions in both my heart and my brain. I had never experienced anything like that. For the first time, I had discovered what it felt like to miss someone so much it hurt. To want to talk to them and have them come running back. To pretend like everything was normal and kiss them and hold them. I had never lost any family or friends. This feeling was entirely new to me. I felt like an adult in these moments. I was very much not an adult, being my immature self as tears ran down my face. But with this gut-wrenching emotion, how could I be anything but mature? Children don’t feel this kind of heartbreak. This was something only an adult could feel.

So yes, as much as I learned from these experiences, they still sucked. So here are some of my best tips on how to get over a breakup. Here’s how to get back on track to feeling like normal and not letting it bother you as much as before. Trust me, it’s foolproof. Follow all these steps and you’ll be okay. Actually, that’s a lie. I really don’t know anything about breakups. But nonetheless, enjoy!

1. Breakup songs. Blast them as loud as you can. Songza has some great playlists. My favorite breakup songs include: Fuck You- Lily Allen, Better than Revenge- Tay Swift, Tonight I’m Getting Over You- Carly Rae Jepsen, No Scrubs- TLC, Since U Been Gone- Kelly Clarkson. Sing along to them, let them become your anthem. Be empowered.
2. Friends. Good friends. Get rid of people who are toxic. Keep the friends who sit with you in the dark while you cry, keep the friends who bring you timbits, keep the friends who listen to you rant, keep the friends who care.
3. Be happy.Don’t let them see that they had an affect on you. Concentrate on becoming a better person, rather than letting it affect your confidence and self esteem.
4. Don’t sit at home, don’t stay in bed. Immerse yourself in school, work, girls nights, anything.
5. Make yourself a better person. Discover your goals, discover your dreams. Boys are temporary, your future is not. Concentrate on acing your tests, excelling at your job. Do whatever it takes to become better.
6. Write.I recommend poems but if that isn’t your thing, write anything. write all of your emotions without any boundaries. Don’t make it pretty, scribble out your feelings. Let it pour out of you.
7. Get super drunk at a party with all of your favorite people. Dance the night away. Drink a few too many drinks. Forget why you’re sad. Flirt with strangers.
8. Don’t be afraid of rebounding. People act like rebounds are a really bad way to get over your ex. But honestly, it helped me so much in realizing there are other fish in the sea and the majority of them are a whole lot better than your ex.

And just remember that this will pass. These feelings that are currently controlling your life will soon drift away as you return to your normal life. As you put other things into priority, the breakup will start to hurt less and less. It might take a week, it might take a month, it might take a year. Maybe more, maybe less. Not even you know that answer. But, eventually, you will only look back at it with a tiny ache in your heart. And this time, your heart will be stronger than ever.

This is a post I wrote a year ago when I was going through a rough patch. I wasn’t myself for a little while, I had a lot of trust issues and held a lot of bitterness inside, but I feel this post is still very relevant. I debated for 10 months if I should post this or not. I don’t talk about boys or relationships or really my personal life on my blog. I like to talk about the happier things. Fashion and beauty really are my expertise. But, I think this post would have really helped me a year ago, so I’m sharing it in the hopes that it will comfort one of you guys. Let me know what y’all think!