Okay. I think you all know what’s coming. At the end of my 2019 Year in Review post, I wrote, and I quote “All the pieces in my life are falling into place and it’s amazing. However, I am a little scared I am going to jinx everything by stating that. I’m scared that because I had such a damn good year, next year can’t possibly be as good. I’m scared that something huge is gonna go wrong and turn my life upside down”. My oh my. Did I ever indeed jinx myself. Between saying that and calling this, my 25th year, my quarter life crisis, it really is no mystery the year turned out the way it did. It seemed like everything I enjoyed and treasured in 2019 – spending time with friends, going to concerts, and travelling – was impossible in 2020. Afterall, just a month after writing that, this global pandemic started and it really did turn my life upside down. But you know what? If I learned one thing this year, it’s that I’m really strong. I learned I’m the type of person who when faced with hardships, I don’t give up. I turn every bad thing around and I somehow come out on top. And that’s exactly what I did. And so, surprisingly, I didn’t hate this year. In fact, it was quite the opposite. I had a really good year. Sure, it wasn’t all peaches and roses. But it was pretty damn close. And I grew a ton. A lot of things changed and I couldn’t be happier for those things.
January – The start of 2020. I finally got my wisdom teeth out. It was surprisingly painless until I may or may not have overdosed on my pain medication and experienced a fun-filled 12 hours of crying for no reason. I also spontaneously went to Hawaii at the end of January which couldn’t have come at a better time seeing that as we would go into lockdown a mere month later. I fell in love with Hawaii and I can’t wait until I get to go back one day.
February – I celebrated my one year anniversary at work. One year of having the best job in the world and working with the best people! I feel so grateful to work somewhere where I genuinely enjoy going to work each and every day (except on Mondays. Nobody likes Mondays). Read this post for more insight on my job hunting journey. I also quit my part-time job at Shoppers Drug Mart. I had worked there for seven years. I always thought I was going to be a lifer there but I just felt like my time there was complete. I needed to free up time in my life to do other things. This post sums it up pretty well. I also went to The Beaches concert. Who knew that would be my last concert of 2020? I miss live music so much.
March – I turned the big twenty-five. I was not excited to reach this milestone. I just felt like I hadn’t accomplished everything that I wanted to by this age but I think that disappointment gave me the motivation I needed to complete some goals later in 2020. And then, just a couple of days after my birthday party with all of my closest friends (a true luxury), the pandemic hit. I started working from home. I thought I would be home for two weeks, maybe three. Boy, how wrong I was. I really would have taken my plants home from my office if I had of known. RIP Mr. Plant.
April – I started to experience the COVID/working-from-home slump. I didn’t feel a need to do my makeup or dress nicely and although it was a welcomed break from my usual high maintenance tendencies, I lost a little bit of myself. But it wasn’t all bad. Not wearing makeup for days at a time really changed my outlook on my skin and my appearance. And still, to this day, I leave the house without makeup. It’s freeing. Read all about it here. And during April I even decided to put a pause on posting outfit photos on ze blog until the pandemic was over. Luckily I quickly realized that this pandemic was far from ending any time soon and started posting style content again.
May – May is just a blur in my quarantine memories. What even happened in this month? Luckily the weather was nice so I spent the whole month outside. I went on road trips, read some good books, did some hikes and walked A TON. But did I get even the slightest bit of a tan? Not a chance. I am now entirely positive that it is indeed impossible for me to develop a tan. But I’ve come to accept it. My online shopping was also out of control this month. Like the majority of you, I turned to retail therapy to distract me from the growing pandemic. I bought my first pair of sweatpants and proudly wore them everyday. I never thought I would say that. I’ve since sold that pair of sweatpants, thank goodness. They’re just not me.
June – June is also a blur. All I remember is tie-dying. Doesn’t that seem like so long ago? Where tie-dying everything you owned was the craze all across North America? I’m pretty sure I just spent all my free time tie-dying and watching Tiktoks in June but I ain’t made about it. It’s called self care, y’all. Also my two best friends graduated university in June and I’m so so so proud of them!
July – I made the decision to apply to the MBA program at the University of Alberta. I had been looking forward to starting the program ever since I graduated with my Bachelor of Commerce back in 2018. The whole application and interview process was terrifying to me but I got through it and was accepted into the program. I knew there was a lot of work ahead of me but I was so overjoyed at the thought of being back in school and filling my brain with new knowledge. Read this post about the differences between undergrad and grad school!
August – August was the month I decided to get Invisalign for my teeth. I had been insecure about my teeth for years. When I was younger, I had a gap between my two front teeth which never bothered me, but then, as I grew older and my wisdom teeth started coming in, the gap closed and my front teeth buckled and start sticking out. I hated it. I adopted the ‘no teeth’ smile and refused to show my teeth in every picture. But then I started looking into Invisalign and it seemed like the perfect solution. Two years of wearing clear, “invisible” trays? I could handle that. It’s now been almost six months of my Invisalign journey and I can’t even begin to tell you how happy it’s made me. I decided to change my smile entirely for me and I’m so glad I did. It is such a glorious feeling to look in the mirror and smile. With teeth.
September – I started my MBA classes in September. It was nerve wracking. I felt a lot of anxiousness surrounding feelings of Imposter Syndrome and that I just wasn’t ready to be doing my Master’s. The first couple of weeks were hard, I’m not going to lie, but once I got into the flow of things and started making friends, I fell in love with the program. It’s such a privilege to be back in school and I’m really enjoying every minute of it. It’s also very interesting doing it all online but I’ll write a whole separate post about that.
October – October was by far the hardest month for me in 2020. I cried a lot. I held a lot of anger. I was trying to deal with this influx of negative emotions while still trying to get through the craziness of work, school, ze blog and maintaining my friendships without shutting everyone out. I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, I lost a ton of weight. It was really damn hard. But, with the help of my friends and a lot of self-reflection, I started to find myself again. I owe everything to my friends. I hope they know who they are.
November – I got my mojo back in November. I felt so strong. I knew I had made it through an avalanche of all these problems tumbling down on me. I was finally emerging from underneath all these struggles. The weight was lifted off my shoulders. I was excelling in school, I was finding happiness, I had a call with Poshmark headquarters (I’m Poshmark’s biggest fan), I had a new found outlook at work, I was having a blast just spending (socially distanced) time with my friends, the blog was thriving. I was thriving. It was like I had hit the reset button on life. Sometimes you just need to start over and forget all your problems. I remember driving in the car one day and just thinking that I was done feeling like shit and that I wanted to choose happiness. As cliche as that sounds, that’s exactly what I did from that moment on. I forced myself to find happiness again and I couldn’t have been more grateful for that choice.
December – I moved out of my parent’s house at the beginning of December. It was such a milestone for me. I had been wanting to move out for a long while now but it just had never felt like the right time. But something felt different about this time. I just felt ready. It was such an exciting experience and I loved every minute of it (except moving over all my clothes- that was a lot of work). Watch my first move-in vlog here. Now, at the time of writing this, I’ve lived alone in my new place for two months and it’s been absolutely perfect. It was the best decision I ever made.
The end of 2020.
Ever since the pandemic started, I had been absolutely dreading writing this blog post. I had so many plans for 2020 and, like each and every one of you, I would have never saw this coming even in my wildest dreams. It’s hard not to compare this year with so many years before it and feel sadness that I didn’t accomplish as much as I usually would or feel the same happiness or satisfaction as I did in prior years. But, like all of you, I lived through my first pandemic. I tackled everything that was thrown my way and tried to make the best of it. I don’t usually consider myself the strongest or most resilient person when faced with huge amounts of change, but I think I tackled the unknown pretty well this year. We all deserve a big pat on the back for that. I have no idea what 2021 will involve. I am stepping into the unknown. I usually go into January hoping for the best but expecting the worst. But that’s all going to change this year. This is a new Taylor. She is going to be optimistic. She is going to be confident. And she is going to continue to tackle any challenge that is thrown at her. Not every year is going to be the best one ever but we’re going to make the best of it. I am going to continue to better myself and find opportunities even when they seem slim.
I once saw a quote that read:
Grapes must be crushed to make wine. Diamonds form under pressure. Olives are pressed to release oil. Seeds grow in darkness. Whenever you feel crushed, under pressure, pressed, or in darkness, you’re in a powerful place of transformation.
Trust the process.
I’ve definitely experienced all four of those this year but I’ve also found that I truly do thrive when I’m forced to. Cheers to a year of transformation. We did it, y’all.
2019 Year in Review: https://when-im-older.com/2019-year-in-review/
2018 Year in Review: https://when-im-older.com/181586291270-2/
2017 Year in Review: https://when-im-older.com/169469215827-2/
2016 Year in Review: https://when-im-older.com/155301288875-2/
2015 Year in Review: https://when-im-older.com/136279938943-2/
2014 Year in Review: https://when-im-older.com/106720896600-2/
2013 Year in Review: https://when-im-older.com/71760926730-2/
