Life has been an absolute whirlwind lately. For the first time in a very long time, I have been incredibly inconsistent on ze blog. I have been blogging for just over nine years now and I’ve maybe taken a month-long hiatus two or three times in that substantial amount of time. But, for the past three months, I’ve been blogging on and off (and it’s definitely been leaning more towards the off side lately).
But, I have to admit there’s a very good reason for that. I moved out on December 1, 2020. Adding the year to that date makes it seem like a very dramatic move. I don’t mean to make it sound that way, I’m just adding the year for clarity if someone was to read this years from now. Anyways, I moved out of my parents’ house three months ago and I’m just now realizing I haven’t really shared much of the process on ze blog. I had planned to do a whole series of vlogs documenting my moving out experience. I had even filmed a bunch of clips but never posted anything except the first one (watch that here). There’s a couple of reasons for that. First, I really don’t like filming videos. There is definitely a reason why I’m a blogger and not a Youtuber. Writing has always been my speciality rather than filming. And second, for the first time in a very long time, I felt this weird pleasure and need to keep a segment of my life private. I post a great deal on ze blog and although the majority is fashion and beauty related, there is a sprinkling of more personal posts throughout. I’ve even wrote detailed blog posts on every breakup I’ve experienced. I’m not usually one who shies away from spilling my emotions on the internet.
However, to me, moving out just seemed like such an important and grandiose stage of my life and thus, it just seemed right to keep it to myself for now and not share the experience on ze blog, especially in a vlog format. I didn’t feel like the amateur Youtuber in me could do it justice. But, as I’ve said time and time again, this blog has really become my diary of sorts and it wouldn’t feel right not making at least one post reflecting on living alone for the very first time, so here you go! Here is a before, during and after reflection of moving into my own place as a 26 year old (happy birthday to me).
The Before:
My boyfriend and I had just broken up. I moved back home after a mere six months of living with him. Combine that transition with a global pandemic and having to work from home, I’m sure you can all understand and relate to the suffocating feeling of being cooped up in a house with your family 24/7. All the freedom and newfound responsibilities I had worked so hard to gain were suddenly being ripped away from me and I knew I really had to start looking for a place of my own. It was time.
Apartment hunting was surprisingly easy. I toured maybe four places before I found the one I absolutely loved. But, behind the scenes, I was constantly surfing the internet looking at every available listing. It probably won’t surprise you that I’m a very picky person who had a very firm, set list of qualities I needed in my future home. First: the location. I needed it within a 15 minute walk to campus. I work at the University. I go to school at the University. Post-pandemic, I will be at the University for the majority of my days. It would make sense to be within a reasonable walking distance. Second: the floorplan. I was pretty set on finding a place with two bedrooms: one to sleep in and one to work in. With working from home for the foreseeable future, as well as finding myself constantly studying for school, it was very important to find a place with a second bedroom that I could make into my office. But let’s be honest, the real reason I needed a second bedroom was for that additional closet space. What’s more important? A desk or a closet? I’m sure you all know what answer I would pick. Third: the appliances. I needed a washer and dryer and I needed a dishwasher. Those were both non-negotiable (for obvious reasons). And last, the ‘prettiness’ factor. I wanted a place that fit my style, was clean, had updated appliances and finishes and didn’t smell weird. I have this weird phobia with old showers. You just don’t know what’s hiding beneath the drain. I just shivered thinking about that. But you know, looking at this list now, I don’t actually think any of these are outrageous to want. I take it back. I’m really not all that picky.
So what place did I find? I found the cutest lil’ house just a short walk from the University. It was just built this year so no one had ever lived in it AKA it is super clean, super modern and super aesthetic. It also has both a laundry & dryer and a dishwasher. And it has two bedrooms. The closet space is still lacking but hey, it just gives me good motivation to keep downsizing and selling my clothes on Poshmark. The house really did meet every item on my checklist and it’s no surprise, I signed the lease and moved in. But it wasn’t all happiness and excitement. To put it bluntly, I was scared shitless. I remember the night before signing the lease, I had the worst anxiety. I didn’t sleep at all that night. I just lied in bed thinking that I was making a horrible decision. I was scared of everything- not being financially stable, getting lonely, feeling unsafe, being in a new, unfamiliar neighbourhood, not getting to see Oakley every minute of every day. The list goes on and on. But, I looked back on all the other decisions I had made in life where I had felt this similar anxious feeling and realized they had all ended up turning out great and I didn’t actually regret any of them. So, I signed the lease and I haven’t looked back since. Thank goodness. Oh and I should probably mention the rent is super reasonable and water, heat and power is included in the price. I definitely didn’t want to splurge on rent so I could still save as much money as possible as I do want to buy a house sooner rather than later. But in short, this house really is perfect for everything I need and want right now.
The During
Moving was stressful to say the least. This was my first time ever moving into a place on my own and I didn’t really know what to expect. In hindsight, it’s probably going to be the easiest moving experience I ever have as I was on no real time crunch or strict time frame. I didn’t have a deadline for moving out of my parent’s house so I found I could really take my time and space it out over a couple of weeks.
However, moving during a pandemic definitely adds a bit more complications into the picture. I won’t ever forget having my furniture delivered and the delivery guys not being able to enter my house because of Covid and just leaving five (!) couch-size and bed-size boxes on the sidewalk. I wish I could tell you I developed superhuman strength and was able to bring everything in myself. That is sadly not the case. However, I did successfully drag a mattress into the doorway and bring a rug down a set of stairs. Hire me for all your moving needs. Please.
Furniture shopping was almost more stressful than the actual moving part. I had never furnished a house before. The only decorating experience I had was at my old job when my boss tasked me with the assignment of redesigning the office. But that did not even come close to preparing me for this. When you’re moving out, there is so much to buy. But, being the obsessive planner I am, I was so dang organized. I made countless spreadsheets of everything I needed. I also researched everything I bought from can openers to couches to make sure I was buying the best ones and not wasting any money.
Although it was incredibly stressful spending thousands and thousands of dollars on furniture in the span of two weeks, it was also one of my favorite things. I had always dreamed of having a mustard yellow couch in my living room and let’s just say that dream is now a reality. All the furniture and design elements I had always wanted in my future home were finally coming to life. And now, this place is so Taylor. It fully embodies me and I think that’s one of the reasons why it didn’t take long for it to feel like home. I promise there will eventually be a full house (not to be confused with Full House) tour video on ze blog but I just feel like it’s not ready yet. There’s still a lot more I want to add to the place. Your patience is much appreciated. And if it makes you feel any better, the majority of my friends haven’t even seen this place yet. Dang you COVID, I just want to throw a housewarming party!
The After
Everything who lives alone that I consulted for advice told me the same thing: the first couple of nights are the worst because you’re lonely and/or scared and everything just feels weird. However, I didn’t experience that. I owe that to the fortunate experience of living with my boyfriend last year. He would occasionally work during the night so I was fairly used to sleeping alone in an apartment and that really gently eased me into the whole concept of living alone. And thus, when I did move out on my own, it didn’t feel like this weird, unknown, scary experience (except for when my suction cup razor blade holder fell off the shower wall in the middle of the night and thus, scared me to death).
It’s now been a solid three months of living here on my own and I couldn’t be happier. It’s probably been the best choice I made in the past year (don’t worry, starting my MBA is a close second). Before I moved out, I felt like I was in such a weird funk. I felt stifled and controlled. I really wanted to experience living alone. I feel like you learn so much about yourself when you have the chance to be alone with your thoughts. I didn’t know what my productivity would be like with school and work if I didn’t have some interrupting me every hour. I didn’t know what my cleaning habits would be like if I didn’t have a parent nagging me to make my bed every morning. I didn’t know what I would cook every day if I didn’t have to ask to use to the kitchen every time. It’s a weird thing being able to do things just because you need or want to, not because you’re being told to.
I used to hate being alone. I wanted to be around people 24/7 and felt like I could never be fully happy if I wasn’t surrounded by people. I don’t know if I had ever imagined myself living alone. I think I always thought I would move in with a boyfriend or a friend and then my finance and then my husband and that would be that. But, I’ve now been alone more times in the past three months than I’ve probably been in years and it’s so refreshing. I turn 26 today and I finally feel like I am taking the first step to get where I want to be. Although I generally feel like I’m behind in life, I’m trying to focus more on the positives and what I have achieved rather than what I haven’t. Afterall, it is a pandemic and we have to be a lil’ more flexible in what we expect to achieve right now. But I sure am glad that I was able to meet this goal of being moved out by the time I’m 26. Now let’s just aim to buy a house by the time I’m 27. Unrealistic? Nah. When I’m Older, I will own a house. You’ll see.
Happy Birthday to me.