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Why Shoes Are The Most Important Thing (to me)
If you were to ask me what’s the first thing I notice about a person, it wouldn’t be their eyes. It wouldn’t be their hair. It wouldn’t even be their face. Nor would it be their personality. It would be their shoes. It’s not because I’m looking down a lot. Or maybe it is. I do look down a lot. I get shy. But I’ve always been a firm believer in that shoes are the pathway to the soul. Hold your laughter. Shoes tell me a lot about a person. And no, they don’t just tell me the superficial things. Yes, if the shoes are trendy, you’re probably a trendy person. But maybe they’re a bit beat up. No, it doesn’t mean you’re beat up. Maybe you just like adventure more than fashion. Maybe you wear flip flops in November. Maybe you wear Uggs in July. I will judge you for that. I will wonder about your sanity. Maybe you wear 4 inch heels walking up the university steps. Maybe you wear beat up Converse down the aisle to the tune of ‘Here Comes The Bride’. Or maybe you’re like me and you wear a different pair of shoes every day. Why yes, I do have a problem. But this post isn’t about me. If you’re wearing running shoes when you’re not running, I think of you as the wannabe athlete. Or maybe sports are your life. It’s all you think about so why would you need any other pairs of shoes? If you’re wearing Hunters, I might want to be your friend. After all, us rain boot girls gotta stick together. If you’re wearing $500 leather boots, I applaud your wallet and your ability to realize that life is a lot less boring if you’re wearing a pair of shoes you might have splurged a bit too much on.
Maybe this view on life stems from my personal life. Whenever my brother would bring home a girl, I would first look at the pair of shoes at the door to silently make my assumptions. Boots were the safe sign. If there was a cute pair of ankle booties or riding boots sitting on the door mat, I would breathe a sigh of relief. They were most likely normal. But, if there was a pair of flip flops at the door, and not just any pair of flip flops. but those $2 rubber ones from Old Navy, I would cringe. And it’s not because $2 rubber flip flops from Old Navy should be reserved for the beach and the beach only. I don’t try to impose my style on everyone, they can wear what they want. But, those $2 flip flops usually symbolized a very specific type of girl. I won’t get into detail for risk of mistakingly offending some of my lovely readers. All I’m trying to say is that I’ve been noticing a trend. Then again, causation does not equal correlation. The last genre of shoe that I have witnessed silently plotting their revenge at my door step is my least favourite of the three because it usually belongs to my least favourite people. They are the broken-in flats that are way beyond repair. The sole is shadowed from summers of dirt and sweat. The horrible neon color of the {fake} leather is faded and peeling. You can just imagine the smell that would radiate off of them if you were to hold them up to your nose, not that you would dare. These girls would be the worst girls that have entered my house. They would be the one who wear fake eyelashes every day. The ones who tease their hair to heaven and above. The ones who wear leggings as pants and off-the-shoulder tops. I know I sound judgemental. It’s because I am. I’m sorry. It’s only because I care.
But boys, you’re not off the hook. I judge your shoes more than I judge girls’. It’s safe to say I would never date a guy who’s wearing ugly shoes. So y’all better start polishing up your best shoes if you see a future with me. Oh calm down, I’m only kidding. Well, half kidding, I really do take shoes seriously if you haven’t noticed yet. When I’m checking out a guy, I don’t elevator scan him, instead I just casually look down to check out his shoes. Is that weird? I feel really creepy describing how I check out a guy. But seriously, sometimes your shoes can make you 10x more attractive. Take those suede hipster dress shoes for example. I’m sure you boys have a name for them that I’m not aware of, but oh my. Those are some nice shoes. If I was a boy, those would be the only shoes I would ever wear. Boat shoes and casual sneakers or converse are always really nice too. I’m not picky. (Maybe a little)
But, in all honesty, shoes tell so much about a person. They are immediately a symbol of your personality. You can instantly tell if a person is athletic, hipster, artsy, a badass, casual, doesn’t give a fuck, etc. So, I will continue to judge guys based on their footwear. It’s really the only foolproof way to judge a person.
I can’t believe I just wrote 1000 words about why shoes are important. I should be writing an 1000 word essay for school instead. Oh well. Shoes are more important than school.